The other day, I went to my parish columbarium and went to pray the Chaplet of St Gertrude as part of our legion praesidium allocated work to pray for the souls in purgatory this Lent. I was late to pray together with my praesidium members so I did it on my own time instead. I specifically went to the columbarium and looked for a St. Joseph statue because I just knew that there would be one for him since he is the Patron of the dying. Then finally I found the St. Joseph wall, saw a lighted statue of our Spiritual Father, and prayed the chaplet. I think it’s very apt in this season to pray for souls in purgatory, especially those that do not have anyone to pray for them. I also decided to walk around the columbarium while praying and looking at the dates on the niches and was able to notice the more recent deaths. I was a bit taken aback to when I would see the years 2022 or 2023 and would realise that their face/names could actually be quite familiar from the obituaries I would see shared in my legion group chat.
I also realise that some of these niches could belong to the people who had passed away in the “Lily Room” of my hospital's A&E. Lily room is the name of the room where they would place the patients that had passed away, a room for mourning for the family. Just then, it clicked. Why is this room of death and mourning called “Lily room”, and what else is associated with Lily? The flower that is always seen with St Joseph, a lily.
St Joseph is often portrayed with a lily as his staff. From an online explanation, These flowers are representative of purity, commitment and rebirth. In recent years, this meaning has come to be interpreted in several different ways, which is why the flower is now also commonly associated with death. However, the connection to death has more to do with those left behind once someone has passed away as opposed to the idea of death itself. White lilies are most commonly used at weddings and are often sent as sympathy flowers as a symbol of strength and support to those in mourning.
Lily also represents purity and chastity, and to Catholics, it is associated with the Blessed Virgin’s flower known as the Madonna Lily or the particular saint that I am focusing on, St. Joseph. If we dwell deeper on the meaning of the lily being pure and chaste, so is death. Death, to Catholics, is seen more with a positive connotation than compared to society’s perspective of it being a negative connotation. Just like how we rejoice and dwell in the death of our Lord Jesus Christ, it is in that same death that we are loved and saved.
And so a friend told me, that when attending wakes or funerals, we need not have to say “Condolences or I’m sorry for your loss”, but rather rejoice and celebrate the beautiful life that the person has lived.
In relation, I feel so comforted knowing that the Lily is also used as St Joseph’s flower, as what other flower would be perfect to signify death, than one that is pure?
How coincidental that this designated room in the hospital for those that passed away, would have the same flower name- a Lily, that is always attached to St Joseph, who is Patron of the dying and Hope of the sick.
As a catholic healthcare worker, our simple gentle touch and prayers go a long way. I have this practice of giving prayer cards to catholic patients to cheer them up and let them feel that they are not alone. I think it’s a good apostolate too, that I work in this literal field hospital of Christ, that I aid the wounded.
I think once again, death played a role in this season of Lent as I reflect more on death and what true sacrifice and love are. As a healthcare worker, I realised walking through the corridor where many anxious family members wait in agony, only to come back to the death of their loved one in the Lily room, really changes my perspective from more than just a hallway to get to my exit, but rather one where it is a place of grieving and mourning. I then try to learn to be mindful of my presence as I walk these valleys of death, but at the same time, to give thanks for the lives that the person has lived.
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